One Mannequin Too Many

My dad and his brothers had decided that they wanted to add a new location in town to sell furniture and appliances because the were out growing the business in the mercantile store on the south end of town. The building that they purchased was on Central Avenue behind Jay's Department Store and across the street from Threat's kitchen entrance. And next door was Blue Bell's Cafeteria, that later became Champion Mills.

The building had been a dress shop with it's previous owner. (Ideal's Dress Shop) When you walked in the door there were to display windows on either side of the doors. On the side walls there was a balcony on each side with area above for storage, It was built to look like a front porch wit turned white post and white railings. The floors were oak and the walls had a white plaster over the brick. When you got half-way back into the store it widened out to twice its size and in the far right hand side was a large restroom with a small window facing a alley behind Jay's Department Store. The restroom window had bars on it like a jail house.

On the other side of the back was a set of double doors that opened onto a walled in patio, the walls were from the other three buildings that joined our building. Between the restroom and the patio was a large paneled office with windows on three sides and a fireplace in the middle. It was in this room that we found a Mannequin and many pieces of mannequin's.

We decided that when we saw this mannequin that we would take it home and have fun with some of our guest that came from time to time to visit us.

She was a blond and we named her Matilda. Matilda started out riding in the car with my sister because she worked in Athens and was going to school at night and my dad put her in the passenger seat and it looked like two people were in the car instead of only my sister. Matilda served her well and she never had a problem driving alone at night.

One night two of our brother workers came to spend a few days with us and as the bedroom that they were sleeping in had a bathroom we had an idea for Matilda.

While we were visiting after supper in the Living Room with our company my brother and one of my sister's were supposed to be doing their homework, but instead the were setting up Matilda in the restroom, They had her using the restroom and they had taped a newspaper in her hand as if she were reading the Atlanta Constitution. When we all went to bed we all went into our sisters room across the hall so we could hear what was going on. When one went to go into the restroom we heard him say, "Oh excuse me," and they walked back into the living room. While they were in the living room my brother took her out of the bathroom and put her in my sister's closet until the next day. After giving the person enough time they went back to their room and knocked before they entered to see if someone was in the room.

The next night they put her in the bed with her blond hair spread all over the pillow like she was asleep. The light was turned on in the bathroom and the door was left ajar so that the light would shine toward the bed and they could see the person in the bed. Again they excused themselves and decided to sleep one on the couch and one in the chair for the night. As they were getting ready to go to sleep in the living room they heard them moving Matilda out of the bedroom into my sister's bedroom. Thankfully for us the got up and went to bed in their bedroom for the night.

The next morning we just knew that we were going to get it from them and the our parents. When everything went off as normal we were left to wonder when the other foot was going to drop.

We had to wait until we got ready to go to bed the next night. When we went to our separate rooms and pulled back our covers we went to jump into the bed and we could only slide in half way in. We had made the beds the previous mornings and they were made the same way we had made beds for years and never had any problems. My brother said this is the other foot dropping. Just sleep under the cover that you can get under and they will be listening to us, hear us as we grumble that we can't get into our beds.

Meanwhile downstairs my sisters tried to get in their beds and they to could only get in half way and their feet wouldn't go any farther into the bed. They took all of their covers off to see what was wrong with their bed covers and then they found out what was wrong. Someone had remade the bed and as you pulled down the bed covers it looked normal. When they remade the bed they took the top sheet and folded it in half and tucked the part for the bottom of the bed into the top of the bed like it was folded in half and when you went to pull the covers back you could only slide in on the sheet half way. If you just pulled the spread and blanket back and not the sheet you could get in the bed as usual.

At breakfast the next morning we each got a wink from the brother workers and we knew then that they had caught on and the joke was back on us.

We later learned that they call this technique: A Short Sheeted Bed.

Yes, you probably already guessed, we passed this trick on to others as they came to visit and when we went visiting we always offered to make the beds with fresh sheets so that we could pass on what we had learned.

A Very Short Pit Stop

Whenever we went on a car trip we always knew that we had to go to the restroom before getting into the car. My dad didn't like to make stops unless it was an emergency. If we controlled our drinking in the car then he didn't have to stop several times to let someone go to the restroom. When he stopped for gas we knew that we needed to get to the restroom and back, because when he had gotten the car tank filled up he was ready to get on his way.

I wanted to say this so that you would appreciate the story that I would like to share with you.

When our parents got older they loved to go to auctions and yard sales buy items that they could resale. So that they would have room for whatever they found my dad purchased a used Ford Econoline utility can that would hold whatever they found.

When they took a trip they would stop at auctions in the area or yard sales that they passed and buy whatever they thought that they could resale.

On this one particular trip they had been to my Aunts house in North Mississippi and along the way they had pretty much filled up the van. They found an auction close by and sold most of the things that they had collected and they were on the hunt to find more items. My aunt, who was my mother's younger sister, told them of a "Special Sale" that they had in a local town close by that was on the first Monday of every month and since it was coming up if they would stay over they could go to it and see what they could find before going home.

So the next morning they set out to New Albany, Mississippi for the first Monday sale. When they got there they were impressed to see that everywhere that you looked someone had something for sale. They had everything: food, animals, tools, furniture, antiques, nicknacks, etc.. It didn't take long before they had a loaded van. It was loaded so much that the space between the front seats were even filled and you couldn't see the passenger in the other seat. Dad said he better stop so that they would have room to sit for their ride home the next morning.

The next morning they started out early so that they could get home before dark as they had about an eight hour trip in front of them.

Mom would bring along a book and some knitting to do as they drove down the road to do after the conversation had died down. She could and would sit and read or knit for hours and she would be so quite you could forget she was even sitting there.

My dad so that he was starting to get low on gas and he was watching the signs advertising the prices as he drove down the road. Finally he found one that suited him and he pulled in to fill the van up. As he was waiting on the attendant to come out mom slips out of the truck and runs to the restroom for the much needed stop. Dad talks to the attendant about filling up the tank when he notices that the price on the tank doesn't match the price on the sign. The attendant explained that he hadn't had time to change his sign yet but that the price had gone up.Dad was upset and said I'm just going to drive on down the road to get my gas since he wouldn't honor his advertised price.

He drives for about forty-five minutes and he ask mom if she is starting to get hungry. He gets no reply, thinking she may be asleep he drives on. A little while later he starts up a conversation with her and she doesn't reply and he thinks that he must have said something earlier that had made her mad and she was giving him the silent treatment. Finally he tells her something funny, thinking that she will at least laugh and there is still no response. When he stops for a red light he leans around the things blocking his vision of the passenger seat and to his surprise mother is not sitting there.

Now he is wondering when she had gotten out of the truck and he remembers stopping to get gas and she must have gotten out then to go to the restroom, because this was the last stop that he had made and that had been over and hour past.

So he does a U-turn in the road and heads back to where he had stopped last. He hopes that he can remember what station that he stopped at.

Meanwhile mom had come out of the restroom to find dad and the van gone. She asked the attendant how he had gotten his gas so fast and he had to explain about the price on the sign hadn't been changed to match the pump price, she said I don't need to hear anymore I know that this is one of his hot buttons and he has driven on down the road to find the best price. Do you need to use my phone to call someone? She looks at the man and said, Do I look like I'm from around here? We were traveling from Tennessee to Georgia today and as we are in eastern Mississippi I don't know anyone here and who I could call couldn't come quick enough. She walks out to the road and starts out walking east hoping that he will soon realize that she is not in the van and will turn around and come back and get her.

My mother is four foot, eleven and a quarter inches tall. When she gets upset she starts to brew like a tea pot on the stove the hotter the pot gets the steam starts to rise to the top.

She has walked several miles and the pot is starting to get hot, she walks another mile and it gets even hotter.

Dad can't drive fast enough to get back to where he left her and he knows that she is going to be hot under the collar when he does get to the station to pick her up. He comes up over the top of the hill an he sees a person walking on this hot summer day. And he thinks to himself how he would hate to be walking in this heat and as he draws closer he sees that it is mother walking and with each step she is starting to boil over. He stops and she just stands their looking at him thru the door. He said, "I'm sorry that I didn't check when I got back into the car to see if you were there, and I know that you are upset, and you have a right to be. She continues to just stand there and look at him when he finally realizes that she is not going to get in until he comes around and opens the door to let her in. She gets in, and then he gets in the driver's seat and turns around to go back the way he was originally headed.

He waits for awhile to speak giving her time to cool down, he hands her a cool water and he knows that the pot is going to boil over at any minute.

When it finally comes she said, I needed that walk to clear my head of a few things and it felt good out in the heat while I did that." "Do you know how hard it is to walk on the shoulder of the road and try to stay out of the ditch when a car passes you?" "What about when a big truck comes along and it almost blows you into the ditch." I can see her as I type this, getting enjoyment out of it because he has to wait until she lets it out and then she is over it.

You can bet that he checks out that passenger seat every time he gets back in the car whether she is there or not.